Looking down in quiet contemplation, Joel knew the answer, but did not like how he would sound when he said it. Joel is a 21-year-old student who used to be without a care in the world, but now his answer seemed to bring his past life back into an ugly perspective. “Reckless,” he finally admitted. “If I had to describe my past sex life before this disease, it would be reckless.”

Having had more than 150 sex partners and counting, Joel is a sexually active homosexual and has been that way since the age of 17. He now lives two incurable STDs- the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) and the Human Papillomavirus (HPV).

“I think I contracted HPV before I got infected with HIV.” He thinks; because he failed to get it checked. Joel started presenting HPV symptoms more than a few months before he got tested for it. “I thought it was nothing. They’d come and go. My friends told me it could’ve been piles.” He only got tested for HPV when he realised he had been displaying symptoms of HIV, and had to get that checked as well, through his fear of a confirmed diagnosis.

“Since I was young, I’ve only been able to enjoy sex if it’s unprotected. It just feels better.” So one night, after unfortunately having had the acquaintance of a 27-year-old flight attendant he met online, he wanted it to feel better.

“I gradually started getting really sick, but I shrugged it off to the flu season,” but it was not long before the season ended that Joel got more symptoms of the virus. “I started getting rashes and Oral Thrush.” Oral Thrush is an identifying symptom of an HIV infection- Joel’s tongue became inflamed and was coated in cream-coloured deposits.

Joel started penning down his worries in his private diary and also started confiding his worries in his best friend. “He told me to get tested, but I was too scared. I thought it’d be the end of the world if I got diagnosed with HIV.” In a twist of fate, getting tested was not Joel’s decision to make. His mother found his diary and uncovered his worry. Joel’s mother brought him to the DSC Clinic later that day.

“The doctor wanted to test me for every STD in the list, so I agreed.” Two weeks passed and Joel was called back into the DSC Clinic for results. He tested positive for both HPV and HIV. “I was devastated. My mom and close friend were there too. We were too shocked to even cry.”

“My best friend always told me to be safe. At times even forcing a condom in my hand when I was about to meet a guy. But I just thought he was overcomplicating everything. I never thought it could happen to me. Clichéd, but that’s what I thought.”

Now, Joel has to maintain his diet, exercise, purchase expensive medication, and go for regular treatment and blood tests to keep his HIV in check. His parents are fortunately very supportive and look after him financially and emotionally. “They’re disappointed, of course. This is not how they wanted me to end up. But they try.”

Sufferer turned activist, Joel now tries to spread the message to other HIV-positive people about life after diagnosis- that it is not the end of the world. And what of the man who infected him?

“What’s done is done. There’s nothing I could do to him to make him take this virus back. I used to hate him but now I don’t have the time or energy to bother anymore. And besides, it’s not entirely his fault.”

Being still sexually active, Joel now places due on emphasis on protection a lot more than he used to.

So the question arises- does Joel still fear other STDs that he might be infected with or has he given up hope after contracting two incurable ones? “I’m still very worried. The last thing I would want to contract now is Herpes- another incurable STD.” Joel shares that he continuously does checks on himself ever so often and is very conscious of his body in order to make sure that no symptoms of other STDs manifest.

“I also think I may have cancer.” HIV-positive people have a higher risk of developing certain cancers. This worry preoccupies most of Joel’s attention now. “I don’t want to get tested. If I have it, I might just lose my mind. If I have it, I can’t know”

“It’s not worth it; risking your life for that moment of fun. You can’t be complacent and think it could never happen to you. It could never happen to me too, at one point in time.”

Joel never thought he was invincible- he just thought the odds of being infected with HIV were too small to even be considered. And due to this misinformation, he was as carefree with his sex life as he wanted to be. Sex can be about fun and pleasure just the same, as it should be for maintaining your own safety.